ROFL: Random Outbursts From Lar!


What the Terrorists Want

The latest fad in political discussion is to claim that terrorists are watching the US election and hope to influence it in some way.

Some say voting Democrat is what terrorists want, because most Democrats favor leaving Iraq, which terrorists would spin as a loss for the US. Some say voting Republican is what terrorists want, because most Republicans favor staying in Iraq, which terrorists would use to bolster their membership by claiming that the US is an imperial power.

Which is it? What do the terrorists want? Which way do they want us to vote so we can do the opposite?

Who cares? More directly and less rhetorically: we should not care.

The debate itself is what the terrorists want because these futile attempts to read their minds spread fear and uncertainty. Besides, whatever America does, the terrorists will claim victory. The US could kill every member of Al-Qaeda except for one and the next day their video news release would boldly announce a desire to destroy all Western civilization.

We should frame debates about whom to vote for not in terms of what the terrorists want, but what will make the world a safer place for Americans.

On Election Day, my vote is going to anyone who favors the most immediate withdrawal from Iraq and re-focusing the war on terror. Label me how you wish, claim you can read terrorist minds, but those are the things I want, so that’s how I’m voting.

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That’s a letter I've been sending to the media, so far, I have one acceptance - cool! The letter takes a somewhat non-partisan view, but I believe its thrust hurts Republicans more, for which I’m glad. It’s really the Republican party (Bush and Cheney especially) that has been pushing the fear angle. Media Matters for America is constantly pointing out how polling shows the American public is strongly against the Iraq war, so Bush and Cheney have no choice but to offer the terrorist perspective on how one should vote. If the American public votes for what they want, then Republicans are doomed this time around.

Republicans must be running scared, since Rush Limbaugh, the Decoy In Chief (DIC, pronounced “DICK”) has been up to his distraction techniques, taking media attention away from issues of relevance and more toward how Michael J. Fox feels about being mocked for having a disease.

Though I think Iraq might turn into a (further) disaster if the US pulls out suddenly, a part of me still wants an immediate pull-out. I simply don’t like the idea of the US Armed Forces being used as the war-profiteering industry’s security force. Oil companies and contractors that backed this war (let’s be honest, war doesn’t happen unless someone is gaining money from it) will have to absorb their losses like any other investment that doesn’t pan out. I hate to say Iraq is Iraq’s problem since the US tipped off the civil war, but I don’t see any alternative. The US can be caught in the cross-fire of the civil war, or we can just watch from afar.

I’m voting for afar.

Larry Nocella is the author of the novel Where Did This Come From? Visit for more information.