ROFL: Random Outbursts From Lar!


Triage during an Idiot Disaster

There’s a lot of lip service given to faith. Those who claim to be full of it (faith, that is) always seem insecure. They seem so easily moved to violence if what they supposedly truly believe is challenged.

This has never made sense to me. Why does faith so often manifest itself as an open hostility towards non-believers? Why can’t they learn from a better example? Say, for instance, me.

See, despite my religious feelings falling closest to the label of atheist, I have a tremendous faith in some things. That is, there are some facts that I know for certain are true, and anyone who states otherwise, I simply feel compelled to laugh my ass off at. I am so sure they are wrong, I simply can’t be moved to righteous anger.

In the abstract, imagine you are standing before a drawing of a circle and someone else is calling it a square. Do you really bother getting mad at such a knucklehead? Why waste your time and emotional energy? Why not just laugh, say “You’re wrong” and move on?

Let’s discuss a more concrete example. Many a clueless idiot has said this exact phrase: “Animals don’t have emotions.” Now, leaving aside the fact that the person saying it is a human animal, and would likely not deny that they have emotions, let’s examine this. Those who live with non-humans (cats, dogs, etc.) are prone to get upset at the dumb statement, “animals don’t have emotions” because it is 100% false, and demonstrably so, constantly, consistently and always. All you need do is spend a few seconds with a non-human, and you’re sure to see some emotion: fear, joy, mistrust, etc. I can say I believe very few statements one hundred percent. “Animals have emotions,” is one of those rare assertions.

Most times, “to have faith” implies that someone has NOT thought about something, they just believe it wholeheartedly and brag about it, as if that’s some kind of admirable accomplishment. When I say I have a faith in something, it means I’ve checked it out and nothing has given me the slightest inkling to think otherwise.

When something I truly believe is challenged, instead of righteous anger, my faith manifests itself as a laughing certainty. Why can’t more people just be like me? (Answer to come.)

Anyway, when a person utters nonsense that is completely wrong, why should I threaten to kill them? I will attempt to educate, but if they insist on their ignorance, I can’t help but laugh. It’s un-PC, but I really can’t be bothered. If you insist on being that stupid, you’ll have to find your own way to reality. I’m not going to give you directions. In the case where you happen to be a decision-maker, like a president, then I’m going to work to remove your dumb ass from power.

Think of it as triage during an idiot disaster. I save only those with a hope of saving. Those who are lost beyond hope I simply let die. Then I laugh at them. Keep in mind this is all an analogy, but it points out that I probably wouldn’t be too useful in a hospital. So it’s a good thing that at least all of the world isn’t like me.

As for “people of faith” who are intolerant and violent, I could teach them a thing or two.

Larry Nocella is the award-winning author of the novel Where Did This Come From? available at Amazon and Xlibris and other fine online book stores. Also, for a limited time, Where Did This Come From? is available as an eBook for only ONE DOLLAR. Visit Larry Nocella's website at

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