ROFL: Random Outbursts From Lar!


A Real Halloween Scare: A McCain-Palin Presidency!

Okay, so today is Halloween. It's tradition to fantasize about things that scare the crap out of us. So let me use this time to live one of my many nightmares. The following is rated R for intense situations.

It's November 4, 2008 Election Day. Due to widespread electronic voting machine breakdowns in Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, the election results from those states remains unclear. Neither candidate has enough electoral votes to win. Rioting breaks out and the Army brigade stationed in the U.S. reveals its true purpose: to discipline Americans. In the chaos, several hundreds are killed.

Under the guise of restoring order, the Supreme Court rejects calls to have another voting day in the three contested states and declares John McCain the winner, citing some obscure fine print in the U.S. Constitution never before enacted.

Due to all the excitement, John McCain drops dead before Inauguration Day and Vice President Sarah Palin becomes the first woman President. She claims God has ordained her rise to power and commanded her to annihilate the planet so that Judgment Day may arrive.

She gives orders to launch a nuclear first strike against Russia. Fallout sweeps over China and India, killing millions more. The world turns against the USA, its president showing the extent of her rogue maverickness. A coordinated nuclear counter-strike is launched against the USA, destroying a once-great nation and poisoning the earth, leaving the rest of humanity to die out slowly and painfully.


Whew. The scariest horror stories are the ones that could happen. Let's try to avoid this one, shall we?

Larry Nocella is the author of the novel Where Did This Come From? available on Amazon. For more info, visit his website at

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