Reading Teacher Assigning Students Boring Classics Bemoans that Students Don’t Like Reading

A bored student in Ms. Callendo’s reading class.
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Reading Teacher Edna P. Callendo whined yet again that her students don’t like reading.

“I assigned them ‘Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man’ by James Joyce,” Ms. Callendo said, as she smoked outside the teacher’s lounge of PS 152 in Dayton, Ohio. “Not one of them read it. Several even turned in their book reports with the Wikipedia page link printed at the bottom.”

Ms. Callendo has attempted several approaches to get the students interested in reading, none have had success.

“After the Wikipedia plagiarism incident, I switched them to oral reporting. I assigned ‘The Old Man and The Sea’ by Ernest Hemingway. Nice and short, right? That was a disaster, too. If one more kid said some variation of ‘It was about an elderly person fishing’ I was going to vomit.”

“These kids don’t like anything. The Catcher in the Rye? Disaster. Moby Dick? No one read it. Ulysses by Joyce? No dice.”

Callendo continued her rant. “Young folk just aren’t interested in reading. If I ask them about Vampires or Zombies, they’re all into those. They know everything about them, up and down. I don’t know how they get all that information. Can’t come from just movies.”