Sign Language Interpreter for Presidential Press Conferences to be Replaced with Person Miming Jerking Off

Sample screen grab of person miming jerking off during presidential press conferences.
photo credit

All major networks have agreed to replace the sign language interpreter for the president’s press conferences with someone miming jerking off.

The cooler among us refer to the gesture as “the pantomime wank of contempt.”

Speaking on condition of anonymity, one producer behind the decision explained.

“We know the president is at best, spinning information to make himself look good. At worst — and I should add, more likely — he’s lying.”

Not everyone was fan of the move. Barbara Winslow of Family Friendly Media, a faith-based watchdog group, condemned the change.

“How am I supposed to explain to my teenage boys what that motion means? My sons spend all their time locked in their rooms praying. They pray so hard that when I knock, they yell for me not to come in. They won’t know what that person is doing.”

The anonymous producer defended the move.

“There’s no better way to convey to our deaf and non-deaf audience what is being said by the president…. and the seriousness with which you should take it.”

What does the president himself think?

The producer laughed. “What does the president think? Does the president think at all? That’s the question.”