Studies Show We’re Going to Believe Whatever the Hell We Want Regardless of What Studies Show

Who needs data and statistics when we can just believe what we want?
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Recent studies have proven that we’re going to believe whatever the hell we want. No amount of evidence is going to change our minds.

Sometimes a study proves us wrong. When that happens we ignore it. We say it’s biased or invalid or somehow done wrong – as if we know squat about how to conduct a study.

We’ll echo the jargon some cable news talking head spews. We’ll say something like “This isn’t a study, it’s a meta-analysis.” We have no idea what that means. We ignore that the talking head is on TV because he’s actually a lobbyist, but hell, we’ll go with it. Anything we can do push aside the idea we might be wrong.

In the cases where a study proves us right, we’ll claim it was perfect. It won’t matter if it wasn’t. We wouldn’t know, anyway. What do we know about statistical collection? Or poll methods?

Donkey dick. That’s what. We’re going to believe what we want and that’s that.

We don’t care about facts. Unless they support what we want them to. Then facts are important.

So, go ahead! Shuffle the tarot cards, see patterns in numbers and messages in animal guts. Skip the data. We’ll just believe what we want. 

Last thing: just because I’m writing this doesn’t mean I’m exempt. I know I’m not. None of us are. For all our shiny gadgets, we’re still just a bunch of primitives howling at the moon.

Thanks for listening, boss. I’ll file another story before deadline, I just needed to vent. Don’t publish this, okay?