Florida Senator Clyde Gelmore was once called, “The Troll with No Soul.” Known for his acrid social media posts, Gelmore seemed impervious to criticism.
His comments always generated angry replies. He would “get ratioed” as the kids say. (Meaning he got more angry replies than likes.) But this week, while reading furious responses, something new happened.
“I did it to relax,” the senator said. “I’d sign off on another corporate bailout. Then I’d hit the keyboard to rub it in. I’d say something like, ‘The rich get to work, the poor whine on social media.’ Then I’d enjoy a brandy and chuckle as their futile, angry replies rolled in.”
Senator Gelmore paged through the document of responses printed by his staff.
“Look at them all. Thousands calling for my job, for my seat, for my head. So much anger, so much hate. I would laugh and laugh, until…”
Gelmore paused, took a deep breath, and gazed out his office window before continuing.
“Everything was normal after I read 10,000 comments. Contempt was giving way to boredom. I was about to move on.”
“But that 10,001st reply got me. I can’t even remember what it said. It wasn’t any different than all the others.”
He cleared his throat before continuing.
“Suddenly I realized they had a point. I was a greedy criminal. I should change.”
Following the epiphany, Gelmore withdrew his support for the latest corporate welfare. His party ejected him and now he’s declared independent.
What’s next for the new, more polite Senator Gelmore?
“I’m not sure. Just remember it’s always best to add your input online. Even if thousands of people have said the same thing and you say nothing new. You never know when someone might take the time to read 10,000 replies insulting them. And that ten thousand first one might make the difference.”