“The public apology has become a fixture in American culture. The new series ‘Apology Idol’ seeks to capitalize on this trend.”
So says visionary executive producer Maxim Korelbonne.
“People get offended by anything and everything. There’s a good chance that at some point, everyone will issue a public apology. So it’s a good skill to develop and there is lots of hidden talent. Everyone has opinions on what makes a good one. That all adds up to a good reality TV competition.”
“We at ‘Apology Idol’ seek nothing less than the best public apology in the entire nation.”
An all-star judges panel will coach contestants and rate their apologies. Sincerity, completeness, and satisfaction are a few things they’ll be looking for. The judges will present their opinions live, and the viewing public will cast the final votes by text.
Judges signed on so far are:
Texas Senator Ronald R. Gubermann. Gubermann has expressed regret many times over his career. Usually he is making amends for his bigoted words.
Hip Hop Star Jorge Riddymz has apologized dozens of times for what many see as sexist lyrics.
Socialite Tiffany Congilliacci — famous for her tearful apologies following a drunken anti-Semitic rant — explained what she’d be looking for. “Keep it real. I’m like looking for people who are like, real. Really real. Or are we like, OMG that was sooo fake.”
Korelbonne continued his sales pitch. “There are too many singing competitions. Those are boring. It’s clear if the singer is in tune or not. Apologies are much more subjective. Is the apology sufficient? Do you feel satisfied? Or do you feel insulted again? Was the apologizer defiant and did they double-down?”
What is the prize? Money? A recording contract?
“That’s the real twist. Contestants can’t leave until their apology is accepted by the viewing public. If it isn’t, they’ll be rated “still guilty” and forbidden to exit the living facilities. They must try again until the audience rates them as ‘apology sufficient.’”
“That’s the best part,” Korelbonne said. “They have to keep trying until their regret is accepted. That’s the process of apologies today. A person doesn’t need to feel remorse. They need to satisfy us, the public. Then they’re free to go.”