Getting in touch with Joshua Z. Millstone is no easy task. As the world’s first Quadrillionaire in Cyrptocurrency CooKooBux, he is now a celebrity in the financial world.
“My schedule lately is non-stop video interviews, calls, emails. I can barely keep up. Yesterday I was nobody, now, all these Wall Street superstars are calling me for advice. I should hire an assistant. A dozen, even. I would hire an army of them. If they took CooKooBux.”
While not as widely accepted as rival Bitcoin, CooKooBux recently catapulted into the news as Millstone became its first-ever quadrillionaire. As of now, CooKooBux can only be traded, bought and sold on the CooKooBux market.
The rise of the first-ever cryptocurrency quadrillionaire wasn’t easy, Millstone explained.
“I was drowning in debt. Had no prospects. I mortgaged our home a third time and bought seventeen beast PC workstations. That’s what it took. You download the CooKooBux software and it runs all kinds of weird computations. The longer you let it run, the more CooKooBux you earn.”
“Sounds easy, like anyone can do it, but it’s a test of commitment. I lost my wife over it. She was pissed I invested our life savings on this. She took the dog, too. I couldn’t afford utilities. I only survived the winter because the computers generated enough heat to keep the room warm.”
“If my ex hears this, all I have to say is, ‘How you like me now?’” he laughed.
What does Millstone think about critics who say CooKooBux and other cryptocurrencies are a scam? Or that they are simply distributed computing solutions established by shadowy entities? That instead of harnessing unprecedented number-crunching power for a stated purpose of exploring space or curing disease (like Science United or World Community Grid) that cryptocurrency computing power goes to brute force code-breaking purposes by nefarious entities unknown?
“Critics?” Millstone said. “I can’t hear critics! I got a Quadrillion CooKooBux clogging up my ears, baby!”
“By the way,” he added. “Do you have a fiver? Damn pizza delivery guy only takes tips in dollars.”