Responding to damning reports on working conditions at Amazon (NASDAQ: AMZN) the online giant has launched an exclusive deal available only to employees.
There’s only one catch. To qualify for the “Buy One Get One Free Bathroom Break,” employees must pay the yearly fee to subscribe to Amazon’s Prime service.
The deal currently has a solid five-star rating, accumulated from over 30,000 reviews. Critics have noted that all the reviews appeared immediately as soon as the page went live.
“Best. Prime Benefit. Ever. Five stars!” reads the first review on the Buy One Get One Free Bathroom Break product page, authored by Jon Q. Ihateunions.
“Two bathroom breaks? In one day? I’m so excited about this, I wet myself. Working at Amazon is the best!” wrote Jane Q. Unionsarebad.
“This is the best deal at Amazon since the last deal at Amazon,” read another review, left by Joseph Q. Votenounion. “And I can assure you, it won’t be as good as the next one! I only wish I could gift this deal! I’d buy some for my co-workers! Imagine how cool it would be if everyone got an additional two bathroom breaks!”
Despite the offering, the deal is still not enough to satisfy labor advocates. Several pro-worker groups put questions to the Amazon executive team.
When asked about the morality of working conditions so intense that employees must urinate in bottles, one anonymous spokesperson responded, “Morality? Where do I get that? Can you send me a link to the Amazon.com product page?”
A second anonymous source at Amazon teased a second Prime benefit in the works. This one also would be exclusive to employees who subscribe to Prime. It too is an attempt to deflect criticism.
“It’s a tribute to the people who work so hard make this company run,” the source said. “One thousand lucky employees, chosen by random draw, will have their names engraved on Mr. Bezos’ in-progress super-yacht.”
Above or below the waterline?
“Below, of course.”