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The Words I Wish I Had Said More

A judge refuses a cup of tea

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Personal Branding: An Annoying Exercise

“What music do you like?” I asked a fellow cube-jockey. I asked this innocent question not so long ago, in the endless cubicles of The Corporation. Her response was strange.

She bowed her head, shy about her answer. “Justin Beiber,” she mumbled. She even winced a little, expecting me to mock her. Lucky for her, that’s not my style. Even luckier, I had recently articulated my chilled-out approach during a corporate training.

We had been challenged to design our “personal brand.” Usually when I hear such an assignment, I want to vomit. Cramming yourself into a “brand” is a ceremony enforced by the religion of Capitalism. I put it in the same annoying category as people’s tendency to generalize by generation. Both are rituals for the benefit of easier marketing.

Anyway, back to my pal. I announced to her, “Hey, my brand is ‘No Judgment.’ You like what you like.” She seemed grateful. I felt proud for making her feel comfortable enough to be honest. Done right, I guess personal branding could be a good thing.

No Judgment Done Right

So yeah, that’s my personal brand: No Judgment. Obviously, it’s not something to take to extremes. I mean no judgment where judgment isn’t necessary. If someone tries to stab you, it’s okay to get a little judgey toward them.

But for preferences in entertainment, and fashion choices? That’s where no judgment comes in. There’s a lot of critics out there. I’m sure you’ve noticed. They always have something to say about your looks, clothes, music, tastes, whatever.

My favorite species of this creature are the men who try to be judges of straight, strong, manliness. These guys are the ones who say “Real men don’t wear X. Real men don’t do Y.” etc. I always find those dudes homoerotic. Like, why, are you claiming to be super-straight and yet you are so preoccupied with how other men look? Nothing wrong with being gay, of course. But it’s weird to craft a persona – a brand, if you will – posturing as ultra-straight, while judging other men’s looks.

I’m a straight man, and I like Broadway musicals. I’m a straight man (am I trying to convince myself?) and I love the energy of Pride Month dance music. I’m a straight man (I swear!) and I wear crocs. I don’t give a crap what anyone says about it. I like what I like.

“Not My Cup of Tea”

I wasn’t always so wise, unfortunately. Legend says my friends and I went to see the movie A FEW GOOD MEN in the theater back in 1992. I hated it. HAY-TED-IT. I was so enraged that MORE THAN ONE of my friends recalls how uptight I was after the film. Note that as of this writing, it’s over 30 years ago. They still remember.

I am retro-ashamed of myself. If I only I had developed my “No Judgment” brand then. Why did I stew so much that I burned my pointless fury into the memory of people I loved? Why didn’t I say, “Meh. It wasn’t my cup of tea,” and let others enjoy what they enjoyed?

“Not my cup of tea.”

That’s my favorite way to express non-judgment. If someone forces the issue, say “Not my cup of tea.” Best part is you can still appreciate the skill of the work in question. For example, don’t dig Metallica or Taylor Swift music. It’s not my cup of tea. But I can definitely appreciate the fan bases they’ve built.

You could also stay silent. That’s the hardest part: accepting that somehow the world will carry on. Even if everyone remains ignorant of your every opinion.

Image by Bing Copilot AI. Prompt: create an image of a cartoon judge refusing a cup of tea