Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
I was a teenager when the knock sounded. We weren’t expecting anyone. I answered. Two kids were in my front yard on their bikes. I was immediately suspicious. I knew them from High School. I wasn’t friends with them, but I didn’t like them. I didn’t hate them or consider them enemies, but they were enemy-adjacent: friends with other kids I actively disliked.
We’ll refer to them as Messenger and Assistant.
“Martin is talking crap about you,” Messenger said. Martin was another kid from high school, in the same category as these two: enemy-adjacent.
“Oh, is he?” I asked.
“Martin says he can beat you up,” Messenger said.
“Really?” I didn’t trust these guys, and I didn’t like them. I felt the pressure, and I gave in.
“Take me to him.”
As I walked behind the kids on bikes, I looked back toward my house.
My mother had arrived at the front door. She knew these neighborhood kids and their reputations. She stood on the porch, worry on her face. The scene was a Hollywood cliché: the mother watching fearfully and helplessly from her home’s stoop as her prideful eldest son foolishly walked off to defend his honor.
Along the way I questioned what I was doing. I was fully aware I was giving in to peer pressure, even as I was buckling under it. I didn’t care about what any of these dopes thought about me, or what they said.
Meanwhile, Messenger scolded Assistant and demanded he lend me his bike. “So he’s not tired for the fight,” he reasoned. Assistant refused. I shrugged and walked alongside them. It wasn’t far. A few minutes later, we were at Martin’s house. He was standing in his yard.
“Hey,” I said to Martin. “I heard you were talking trash about me.”
“I wasn’t,” he said.
“Yes, you were,” Messenger said.
“No, I wasn’t,” Martin insisted.
Messenger and Martin bickered.
“Oh. Well don’t,” I said, and I left.
I was annoyed at the whole situation, but mostly irritated with myself. On the solo walk home I thought about the stupidity of it all. I didn’t care if any of them had been talking trash about me. Why should I care when it has no effect on me, and I am not even aware of it? I had no desire to fight him, even if I had correctly assessed him as a douche.
The real villain in this whole scenario was Messenger: The leader of the two kids who came all the way to my house, interrupted my day, to inform me of something I would never have known had he not put out that effort.
Martin’s bravado would never have affected me. Yet Messenger went out of his way to inform me of something that would anger me. It was the first time I had encountered that creature that walks among us: the pot-stirrer, the trouble-maker.
The cliché is “don’t blame the messenger.” But like so many clichés, it shouldn’t be taken as an absolute, but applied wisely. In this case, the Messenger was the villain. But not all messengers are. Let’s discuss.
Don’t blame the messenger. Except sometimes, blame the messenger.
Cute story. Why share? Because I want to add to the current alerts against bad info. Right now there’s plenty of warnings against online communication. Watch out for bias, for misinformation (accidentally wrong) or disinformation (intentional lying.)
The point I want to add is, be mindful of what it is doing to you.
What is the information you consume doing to you?
You can’t be sure of others’ motivation for what they tell you or the accuracy of the info. But you can easily track how it changes your actions and your moods.
What were those annoying kids who tried to lure me into a fight trying to do? I don’t know. Maybe they were bored, didn’t like me, or they didn’t like my “opponent,” or they didn’t like either of us. Whatever it was, it wasn’t something for my benefit. While I was aware of what they were doing and I disapproved, I still went with it.
What I wish folks drawn to Fox News and its clones and as a result turned into — or exacerbated as — embittered angry folks would focus on is what Fox is doing to them. Fox is angering you for its own agenda. But it’s not just Fox. It’s any source of info.
All communication is some form of manipulation.
All communication is some form of manipulation. What is it doing to YOU? I’m writing this to convince you (manipulate you) into thinking that you should be wary of what news does to you. Less effort on trying to gauge if a communicator is sincere. More effort on what your reaction is to it.
I’m not saying hide from bad news. I’m saying don’t wallow in it. Do I need to hear over and over and over and over and over and over the same info about some horrible disaster? I heard ya the first time. Otherwise, I’m absorbing something that makes me mad or sad and I can’t change it.
Justice Gone Weird: If Not You, Who?
You can lose anyone to any source of info: news, cults, etc. Even to causes of justice. Another quick anecdote: A while back, I went on a binge of donating to good causes. At the time, my heart was deep in the cause of animal rights. Cruelty to animals hurts me like few other evils. I donated what I could.
What resulted from that? More mailings from more groups requesting money. Each day I went to my mailbox I could count on another letter with a photo of an animal suffering. As I attempted to defeat animal suffering, I saw it more and more. It got to the point where it was depressing. But should I look away because it upsets me? Or because it upsets me I should donate?
But I already had donated. I was told it was up to me. If not you, then who? That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone. It can be a spur to action: I must do my part! It can also be auto-defeating: I didn’t fix this problem, therefore, I have failed. All my actions meant nothing.
Hordes of Dog-Biting Men
The old saying is “News is Dog Bites Man not Man Bites Dog.”
That may have been the case when news was a single, optional thing throughout the day.
It’s still optional, but less so. Existing in modern America it’s hard to dodge news that’s big enough. You can even overhear it all. If news is Man bites Dog, then people exposed to endless news cycle will think there’s hordes of dog-biting men roaming the streets. And based on some of the conspiracy crap floating around, it seems that’s the least crazy of their beliefs.
Watching the news too often skews your perspective. But it’s also the only way for us to get news from across the world.
What should NEWS be?
The “meta” of the news is what’s important to talk about. The channel itself is telling you what should be thought about and debated. CNN tells you you should think about the war machine and Wall Street. Fox News tells you should think about culture war stuff (aka “anything new is stupid.”)
There has to be a better way to “news” I’m not sure what it is, but until I find it, I’ll be carefully watching its effect on me. Especially as it sustains or reduces my endurance in supporting important causes.
