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DELICAT-MESSIN’! Violent and Deranged Meth Addict Mistaken for World-Famous Chef

“I was stressing,” said Clara Ruffoli, owner of Clara’s Deli. She was describing her nervous anticipation as she waited for the arrival of celebrity chef Jordan Tamzee.

As you likely know, Tamzee is the star of a dozen reality TV shows based on cooking competitions and eatery redesigns. His explosive temper and outrageous behavior has helped him become a world-wide brand.

“I couldn’t believe they chose my place for a Jordan Tamzee makeover,“ continued Ruffoli. “On ‘Hospitality Helper,’ too! That’s my favorite of his shows. I was excited but also freaking out. I know how it starts. Tamzee trashes the place, throwing plates, tossing food. Cursing at the staff. All that. The production team told me to expect him on Thursday morning, and I was ready.”

When Thursday morning came, Tamzee arrived. Or so she thought.

“My staff and I, we’re all big fans of Chef Tamzee’s shows. When he came in, he looked a little different, kind of disheveled and unshaven. We thought it’s because people don’t look the same on TV as they do in person. Maybe his makeup wasn’t done yet.”

The person they thought was Tamzee tipped over a table. Silverware scattered and skidded across the floor. He grabbed a plate of food from under a customer’s nose and hurled it across the room. Then he turned to a nearby server and screamed at him, “You’re a jackass! A worthless jackass!”

“It was tough to watch,” owner Ruffoli said. “But I figured, he’s a famous chef, a celebrity. He must know what he’s doing.”

The customers fled without paying. The server burst into tears and the rampage continued. The man they thought was Chef Tamzee continued screaming obscenities, kicking tables, shattering glasses and plates. He caused thousands of dollars in damages before staggering out.

“I smiled and applauded,” said Ruffoli. “I couldn’t help it. Sure, it was tough seeing all that carnage and one of my employees crying. But I was overjoyed, knowing it was all part of the show and would make my deli better in the long run. Then my phone rang.”

The call was from Tamzee’s management team. They expressed their regret, but they were going to have to cancel. Clara’s Deli would not be featured on Hospitality Helper due to scheduling issues. And no, they couldn’t reschedule. Chef Jordan Tamzee sent his regrets.

“I was shocked,” Ruffoli said. “Then who was that guy who came in and trashed my place?”

Police later apprehended him. His name? James Bilker. He is a repeat offender, and had ingested methamphetamine, cocaine, and other drugs before arriving at the deli. His destructive frenzy caused over $50,000 damage to Ruffoli’s restaurant and several other shops nearby.

“I should have stopped him,” Ruffoli said about the whole incident. “But I didn’t. I kept thinking, he’s famous, and I run only one deli. What do I know? Now that I think about it, is that really how a hospitality industry expert should conduct himself? Hurling food? Damaging furniture? Smashing plates? Insulting the staff? I’m embarrassed. I was so star-struck, I accepted that behavior from a grown man.”

As for the actual offender, James Bilker was later released from police custody on his own recognizance. He could not be reached for comment.